he couldn't sleep and neither could i.
he touched my face gently and gave me a kiss
even though he was obviously not feeling well.
i know he is the cause of my sleeplessness,
even though he gave up nursing long ago.
he is the reason most mornings i wake up sore because
i have either been wedged between him and my husband all night
or him and the wall.
but i cannot get it out of my head that he is still my baby.
i have been drowning his cold in fresh squeezed o.j.
hoping he'll be over it soon.
but at the same time enjoying and relishing the snoring,
vicks' stinging my eyes because he is sleeping so close
for next week his big brother turns 15
and soon enough he'll catch up
and i'll long for the days that he wanted to be held so close
and in a few weeks we'll remember his other brother
the one i never got to hold close at all.
so just for today
after he wakes up from his robitussin + a bit of benadryl
we'll have blueberry pancakes and read jamberry
a million times